woke up and thought about going to the flower show. then decided that all i really wanted was some flowers. 

march and i are not speaking yet... we have snow in our forecast for tomorrow. a-hem. and march is supposed to be the start of spring...  these flowers, and the sunshine beaming onto the floor are trying to make it feel like spring, but it is still too cold to have me convinced.

chloe and i are tired of being cooped up and need to get ourselves out at least once a day, even if it is just a drive to the supermarket, trip to target, walk to the park, rite aid, or the bakery - just something to break up the day and get us out. it seems to tire her out, makes me put myself together, and even if it is just to grab some diet coke, rye bread, and nail polish, it is something.

yesterday we walked to the park together, without the stroller. we have a few parks near to us. the nearest is usually pretty crowded, in the afternoon when school lets out, especially with older kids on bikes, so i tend to avoid it. there is a park further away that is always less crowded and doesn't have pavement running through it, which deters the kids on bikes. it was cold enough yesterday that we went to the closer of the two. chloe is a die-hard park kid, especially when it comes to swings. she can be shivering, with little red cheeks and fingers, and will still scream if taken off the swings. she screams as if i am tearing a limb off while i coo to her "chloe you are cold, let mama carry you, and we will read books, and eat toast at home". despite all my cooing, she continues to scream and all the parents at the park look at me as though i am surely the worst mother ever, and i must be pinching her. 

chlo doesn't understand that i want her to have fun, and stay warm. that i am taking her off the swing to take a little trip to the library where we can warm up, and hit the park again on the way home. even when i gently try to explain it she continues to wiggle and thrash herself around in my arms. she has reached the stage where things bother her and upset her. the stage where she is being told "no" a whole lot, after being told "yes" for what seems like forever. she is chock full of emotions but with no way of describing them other than with happy dances, laughter, play, lying on the floor, throwing herself and other things on the ground, and trying to hurt her parents... while christian and i are not experts, we have ways that we are dealing with this, ways we are trying to help her deal with this, but i would be lying if i didn't say we are holding our breath and hoping we are doing the right things.

today chloe had a tantrum in trader joes that started the moment we walked in, and did not end until she was in the car. i still have no idea what brought on the tantrum. i would like to thank the young man working at trader joes, who saw me scanning the front of the store for the shortest line. he volunteered to ring us up right away, while chloe continued to thrash in my arms, and even throw a few paper bags on the ground as i was swiping my credit card. thank-you from the very bottom of my mama heart.

most of the time though we are home, and chloe is happy. christian and i are too - and cold. waiting for spring, for it to be warm. waiting to be able to not wear socks, to ditch our coats, to be outside all day long. sometimes i feel like throwing a tantrum - it's cold, and i don't want it to be, and i don't know what to do with myself ! i am waiting for those days when it is warm enough to make my skin dewey with sweat, as i push a stroller all day long, all over philadelphia.

but for now, around here:

 we wait for spring. i try to spring clean my little home... scrubbing, scouring, and cracking windows when i dare to. chloe likes to dance in the living room in the morning. she will dance to any music, but she still prefers bon iver. i eat toast and drink coffee, chloe and christian eat bagels.

how are you getting through these last few weeks of winter?


  1. Good question- I am barely getting through the end of winter. Every time the sun breaks through, or the snow melts a bit, I`m thinking "PLEASE let this be the end of winter!!!'

    Some Snapshots Blog


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